I’ve noticed that there are still many people confused about consent, so let me explain in very clearly for you below.
1. Consent is permission
Consent is clear and unambiguous (not confusing) permission to have sex with someone.
2. Consent must be given by ALL people involved
If two people are having sex, BOTH need to give permission to have sex. If more than that, then all people need to give permission to every person involved in the situation.
3. Consent is a continuous process and can be withdrawn at any time
It does not matter if sex has already begun; it doesn’t matter if one person has not reached a climax or how close they are to a climax. The only thing that matters is when someone says no, or stop,then it is time to stop
4. Consent to one thing is not consent to another
Consent to foreplay is not consent to oral sex.
Consent to receive oral sex is not consent to give oral.
Consent to give oral sex is not consent to vaginal sex.
Consent to vaginal sex is not consent to anal play
Consent to anal play is not consent to anal penetration
Consent to any penetration is not consent to a 3-some, sex train, or orgy.
Consent to one thing is not consent to another!!
5. Consent to one time does not mean consent to another time
6. Consent cannot be given by certain people
i. Children cannot consent
The legal age of consent varies from state to state in the US. They vary between the federal age of consent which is 16 years old and 18 yras old. Some states have a “close in age law” that protects children who are 2-3 years older than the person who is not of legal age to consent.
To learn more about the age of consent, click here
ii. People with severe intellectual disabilities (formerly known as severe retardation) cannot consent
If someone has a severe intellectual disability that does not allow them to understand exactly what is happening, or if their IQ and reasoning ability is that of a child, they cannot consent to sex.
iii. Intoxicated people cannot consent with someone who is sober
If someone is intoxicated from beer, liquor or drugs, they are unable to consent. If both people are severely intoxicated,, however, it does not mean that they raped each other. It is similar to two children who are below the age of consent having sex: It is wrong, but not an offense that is triable in court.
If one person is clearly intoxicated beyond the point of consent and the other person still chooses to have sex with them, that is rape
Of course, there may be instances where the court has to decide with evidence if someone was intoxicated enough to consent to sex. A good example of this is in Degrassi: The Next Generation between Season 12 episode 22 and Season 13. If you follow the Zoe Rivas case specifically, this topic is the main focus. You can watch on YouTube for free
I actually had to explain this to grown men ad to who were sincerely upset that they could not have sex with a drunk girl without being considered a rapist. This boggles my mind as to why they would even want to.